I seem to be oblivious
In all the wrong ways
Dissecting the behaviours
Of aliens that look like me
Yet always falling short
Of their kind of social ease
The heavy emotion
That follows the realisation
Is a pill though hard to swallow
I take like clockwork
Every time I fail to grasp
The threads of love
That are dangled in front of me
In a green and pleasant distance
And I’m resigned to say
That I don’t want to go back
To that window ledge
That seems so close
But leaves just enough room for hope
Hope, the doctor who prescribes me
Bitter pills
That there are two forces at play
A tug of good people and good wills
And the tug of a diminished girl
Who’s crumbling walls
Can’t bear the thought of the weight
Of more tourists, passers through
Admirers or disdainers I can never tell
Yet I do know
That with time, with distance,
they forget
And my heart gets armoured with dust
And so maybe this time,
I’ll leave it be