You will never be who I want you to be.
The warm, nurturing and caring woman that god intended.
The one who gives and takes in equal measure.
Your ill-adjusted sense of self-righteousness is delusional
And the trait of a narcissist.
The guilt I felt throughout my life is dwindling,
I was the child; you the mother, the adult, the protector.
Your toxic traits are not just your own
I understand and empathise with the fundamental principles
that you, yourself are a product of your past.
I will break the cycle that you couldn’t.
The cycle of selfishness and sanctimonious,
toxicity and thoughtlessness;
The cycle of callousness and calculation.
The cycle that you continued by having children
That you could not love equally.
Our Borderline personalities,
Crashed together like seaswise giants,
the impact so colossal that we disappeared
as the current dragged us under.
You emerged the same broken evasive woman you always have been;
I submerged and let the waves wash away
My rose tinted view of our relationship.
I can’t change or shape you
I can not alter your egotistical way of life.
All I can do is mature and develop
And treat others how you did not.
I will break the cycle.
I will sever the shackles that bind me to you,
I will reminisce and recall memories
With a bittersweet taste in my mouth.