And you’re sure that they are incapable of coming to some sort of compromise with us?
I’m afraid so. The humans are far too selfish to simply give us the resources we need - even if they were capable of understanding why we need them. Besides, the sheer amount of resources we require will leave the Earth uninhabitable for them. It is most loving to remove the humans quickly and effectively before we begin the gathering process.
And you are certain that this is the moral course of action? Removing over 8 billion sentient beings from the universe is not to be taken lightly. There is no way to do this without causing them some sort of pain. Their suffering is inevitable if this course of action is chosen.
Yes, I am certain. Our team have studied the behaviour and psychology of humans for the last million years. They assure me that their final suffering will be far lesser than the course of suffering this will avoid.
Oh - and before you ask - attempting to compromise with the humans beforehand is out of the question. As you know, their quality of life will be dreadful if we allowed them to live after the gathering has finished. Thus, we will have a strict no-communication policy. Any communication or offer of compromise will distress them greatly, before they inevitably decline the offer and die slowly in the aftermath of the gathering.
You have presented a strong argument. After the others have inspected and reviewed your decisions and the data your party presents, I find it likely that you will get the all-clear.
I hope so. It is sad how the universe presents us with these dreadful dichotomies. Even with all the knowledge and power we have gathered, it is still impossible for us to make a move which pleases everyone. We must always choose the path which minimises suffering in the universe, even if we must enforce suffering to get there. I assure you that my party presents our argument with a heart just as heavy as yours.
Very well. You will have your answer by the morning. Finalise your plans and ready your machines. Make this quick. The humans have shown a high level of empathy in many observed cases. We owe them dignity in death.
Of course.
Oh, and one more thing - out of my personal interest, exactly how many coffee beans are required?
4,010,990,725,026 in the first human month, then half of that value in the second and third. Projections beyond that point become difficult to calculate.
And they exclusively require that they are grown on Earth? There is no other similar planet which they would accept?
Of course there are similar planets, of course would accept coffee from them. Yet we have calculated that they will experience maximum pleasure when drinking coffee from Earth. The pleasure they will experience from this coffee is at least ten billion times greater than the amount of pleasure humanity would experience before their natural extinction. You know the calculations, my friend. Stop evaluating this with your personal morals. You must see the greater good or, with all respect, you are not fit for this position.
Very well. Your reasoning is strong. Await your permit in the morning. Good night.
Good night.