I spend most time in my head
I converse in my thoughts
haha, trust me
I have made several series in my mind
I have produced and directed many movies in my mind
most ain’t sexual, but most are emotional
I feel most of everyday’s events are déjà-vus
Am used to keeping to myself that I have my own world in my mind
Sometimes I cry in my thoughts and my heart gets so heavy
My eyes don’t cascade with tears
But my heartbeat is rapid
It’s as if I have sniffed coke or something
I really love walking cause I tend to pause my life moments And meditate a lot
Maybe it’s cause i don’t have a car
And to be honest I don’t
But the best moments of my day is when I walk solo for many kilometers
Am always in a different zone
Everyone seems like some dust particle being blown
I smile in my meditations
I laugh at times
Am usually in a trance when am by myself
I feel complete
I recall jokes
My body feels light and at times I spread my hands as if I might fly the next second
Only good moments hit me
But, Then I think of you
The lover at mind but enemy in reality
You wrong all my rights
The mood changes
I regret every moment, even the good ones raise a melancholic mood
I can’t let you go and I can’t have you
My heart even doesn’t know what it wants either
So my body temp. moderates
Heartbeat rate drops
And it feels like am surfing in a calm wave near the shore
Which is not interesting
You are not my best memory to indulge in
Tell me why you just affect my emotions like this?
Why do I feel like I lost you while I never had you?
Why do I feel like I have you under my palms while you’ve got the steering driving me nuts?
You affect my functionality
You ain’t even my type of medicine , cause medication cures
You are a drug or some substance I don’t know
Yet you don’t keep me high
You leave me dry and miserable
Incase you were my medicine, Did Mother Nature give me a wrong prescription?
Cause with you in mind, I don’t even cry or laugh
I just curse
And i do crazy things to get over the emotions you leave me in
Is it hate or love?
Yet i don’t love you and I don’t wanna keep you
It ain’t even hate
Cause I call you Babe and giggle when I see you
Babe, it can’t be hate cause I can’t get over you
I can’t bear you leaving
I will look for you, Boy
Maybe i like dwelling in dissatisfaction
I wish I could tattoo myself in your daydreams
That you may see me when you try to escape reality
Maybe i could get the fulfillment i am looking for