O what a lovely town is Canberra in ACT
I like it very much indeed, that\'s very plain to see;
Even though it\'s a sodding dreary place for one and all
And here\'s a tragic tale I feel I really must recall.
I was visiting there with my one-legged Uncle Fred
When some tourists came and hit him on the head;
Why did they do it, why did they cause his pointless death?
Maybe they simply could not bear his horrid putrid breath.
But, post-mortem, I swiftly delved into his bulging pocket
And extracted fifty dollars and (with a cry of \"f*ck it\")
I found evidence in his wallet somewhat negative:
Fred was a raging poof and registered AIDS positive.
But I stand by Uncle Fred and miss him so awfully much:
In my mind he will always be semi-bald and very butch;
At his funeral I recall words spoken by someone or other:
\"He was a pervert but still he was my fucking brother\".
And whenever I revisit this drear Australian dump
I cannot help remembering (as I try and force a lump
of concentrated turd into an overflowing Aussie dunny)
That anything about Canberra really is quite fucking funny.