When you look at me, I bet you think I have it all together by now.
My Facebook is full of all the happy portraits scattered around.
My smile is full of laughter that lights the room.
The happy gestures that I leave in the comments are not what I\'m about.
It seems like a pretty good mask to wear around.
I mean the happiness that I spread around.
when the computer is close and the light has dimmed on my phone.
remember the last post I proclaimed.
It was joyous it seemed.
But I\'m fraying at the edges in my insecurities.
What a front it may seem.
see I love to see people happy you know.
but I can\'t seem to find the glow.
you know that feeling when you feel like your toes are on clouds.
yes, my accomplishments are good.
But yet I haven’t hung one of them.
They stay there in the corner of my closet with a blanket covering them.
to me, it\'s not what it is hyped to be.
My mind is creating an ocean of words.
A few books that I bared that I\'ve written.
Books and books of my thoughts that I write.
not for them but for me to find me.
Hoping if I could put it on paper I could see between the lines.
I\'ve gone through every path twice maybe more.
I\'ve retraced my tracks over and over, yet I can’t find me.
the linens seem clean but why do I feel that they need to be whiter?
Maybe if I add some more pillows they will make it seem fuller.
back and forth I pace, why can\'t I find this peace or the place?
where I can find me?