Michael Edwards

NEVER HAVE I

 

 

NEVER HAVE I

 

 

Never have I ridden a bike wearing a silly helmet

and if ever I did, I’m sorry to say, I’d find it quite repellent

to see my street cred go in a stroke;

I’m certainly not that kind of bloke.

 

I’ve never gone cycling with a parrot on my shoulder

and I sure don’t want to as I get older

for riding a bike whilst shouldering a bird

is not a practice widely observed.

 

I’ve never been cycling with a boiled egg on my head

such an activity is something I’d dread

but a fried egg’s okay for should I cough

the chances are it wouldn’t roll off.

 

 

I’ve never gone riding wearing lycra

for if I did I know I’d look like a

bit of a prat

and there’s no fun in that.