NEVER HAVE I
Never have I ridden a bike wearing a silly helmet
and if ever I did, I’m sorry to say, I’d find it quite repellent
to see my street cred go in a stroke;
I’m certainly not that kind of bloke.
I’ve never gone cycling with a parrot on my shoulder
and I sure don’t want to as I get older
for riding a bike whilst shouldering a bird
is not a practice widely observed.
I’ve never been cycling with a boiled egg on my head
such an activity is something I’d dread
but a fried egg’s okay for should I cough
the chances are it wouldn’t roll off.
I’ve never gone riding wearing lycra
for if I did I know I’d look like a
bit of a prat
and there’s no fun in that.