my self given wears and tears began to stitch together with each tender touch
though it wasn’t love, only lust
he caressed my physique carefully,
my thoughts roamed endless possibilities
rivers that flowed from my eyes ran dry
he sat in awe while he poured asphalt into the potholes of my soul
saying all cracked sidewalks of my dreams had to go
each night as we laid with each other
hard moments became easy
he came with a rope and crane to rescue me
the jackhammer he used, unearthed my bad beliefs and broke through my insecurities
but i was familiar with the platonic bulldozer that awaited me
our invisible contract had a termination date
my infrastructure was good until September
i thought i could handle it all and never call it love,
now i sit and question whether i was enough
i failed my inspectors test
and i am under construction yet again