I have always tried to convince myself
that pain is temporary -
perhaps that is the problem.
Because in spite of it all
the burning in my throat
when I drink to forget,
the enticing burn
of a blade against skin,
the desperate pining of my body
when I starve it of what it needs -
of you -
these fleeting moments
of feeling something
are just temporary measures
a means to an end
attempts to pierce the endless discomfort
you left in your wake
- it is all I have felt since