As of late - I could not but barely move
mine whole body felt
analogous to sluggish mollusk
frequent constipation found yours truly
doubled over in gastrointestinal agony
as if elephant or red (livid with rage)
bull thrust his tusk
into lower abdominal area dawn to dusk
ah...voila... hence subsequently I tout
blessed natural laxative the magic of Daily Fiber
100% natural psyllium husk.
Upon sprinkling two dose powder pack,
which orange flavor sweetened
upon missus mishmash pop slop,
not aesthetically pleasing major drawback
heavy as a full coalsack
sometimes burned and scorched black
movement came swift, on par how fast
snaky Mister liquid Plumber doth attack
obstructed potty bowl.
Well now... monumental poetic challenge,
I now craftily abbreviate
(think clogged toilet synonymous with blockage)
waste matter after days did accumulate
ready to apply corkerasp*
regarding rectal blockage to alleviate.
Imagine impossible mission to defecate
which debilitating scenario (mine) accursed fate
frequently recurring more often as yours truly ages
i.e. latter day saint Matthew Scott got older
rectal affliction compromised me
ordinary easy going demeanor to boot
disallowing, disenabling, and not permitting
me - effecting, emulating, and exhaling
Tony the tiger\'s catchword grrrrrreat
if queried about my constitution
when alas... absolute ecstasy found me
expelling bowel movement with effort
weighing approximately hundredweight
though relieved, nevertheless
the toilet bowl clogged,
prompting me to correct historical records
on two accounts despite
causing potential ruckus
disaster buffs may incriminate
nsync notion huge bowel movement
(mine) took down (analogous
voyage to bottom of sea) toto Lusitania
and actually additionally
caused separate incident
complex edifice (think Titanic)
both sturdy ships of state
former rendered foundered
latter purportedly crashing
into iceberg me mate.
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*Lemme explain the essence of a corkerasp
Whenever constipation a pain in the ass
just maneuver this lightweight
metal contrivance made of brass
no matter if anybody
considers this action crass
apply corkscrew motion up the
alimentary canal to remove waste
which most likely will be
thick like petrified paste
stuck deep inside bowels of the
sphincter muscles and solidly encased
causing severe cramps within
lower gastrointestinal tract
inducing one to wince nonstop
from being with fecal matter packed
and no amount of primal groaning
didst loose this hard fact
nor does imagery of freed turd
ease the anal plight
no laughing matter despite how absurd
squeezing does nothing even
applying all inner might
thus necessary to incorporate
unnatural intervention to unclog
rectal blockage + uncomfortable bloating
swelling anus the size of a hog
disabling barely any ease to stand let alone jog
yet tis essential per extricating what
feels like one swallowed a log
lest epitaph induce possible eulogy
possibly spoken the language of prague
every ounce of effort
required to bend
over gingerly affixing
plunger end of device
to business rear end
best accompanied with close
companion or friend
since dirty deed done dirt
cheap trick will ideally rend
rock solid excrement to roll
and release crashing sound sent
upon the bathroom floor
possibly inducing seismic
waves less or more
whereby toilet bowl water will pour
over the sides akin to
white caps near sea shore
without doubt all the while
gluteus maximus extremely sore.