Sincere torment

My eyes are squeezed shut begging for a beautiful awakening 

I want to wake up in the bed i spent most of my years.

My strongest desire is to cancel out the memories constantly replaying in my head

Often times i stumble between if I\'m really suited for living among the living rather than the dead

The cost of friendship never seemed like a difficult purchase

Until he left my side without hesitation

Better yet, when he took his own life for what I only could assume was in vain

I can\'t tell what hurt more his choice or my immediate reaction


I told him to not be a drama queen, and now he\'s dead

My strongest desire is to believe that things would have ended up better if I was at the other end of that blade

There wasn\'t a wound he wouldn\'t mend, there wasn\'t a dream he wouldn\'t support

I told him to not be a drama queen, and now he\'s dead

these words just keep repeating in my head. 

He would have never said that to me no matter how petty the cry might seem.


I would like to call this life\'s biggest lesson 

But I don\'t want to call it anything because then that would mean that this isn\'t a dream 

If I could trade my last breath to give you a million more

would you forgive me?