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Peculiarly Lauren

Never worth it

Sometimes I feel as though my story is never worth telling. 
never worth it, the time and energy to formulate those words I spend hours searching for with my inner voice. 
it\'s the little hand that knocks quietly at the door. Loud enough to grab your attention but you have the option to ignore because it\'s not demanding enough to hold it. 

Sometimes I feel as though my story is never worth telling. 
even when another woman tells hers and I can\'t help but feel like I need to look down or I\'m brought back to that same place with those same events. I shake my head when I hear it\'s PTSD but I never thought I\'d ever have such a thing. 

and then sometimes I feel as though my story is worth telling. But my voice is so loud and rigid. I\'m able to hold back the tears but you can see that some times the way I describe how much pain I was in at the time and wanted to scream for help that it\'s the amount of times I\'ve had to tell the story is what keeps me from falling apart. 

it\'s that sometimes I feel as though my story is worth telling because in my own way I feel like it was another person or another part of me that no longer exists but I can maybe save the next or lessen the pain to a another woman who sits in the hole like I do to.