Cali Kittana

Cold Showers

I used to like cold showers

After a long day at work

Or a hot day in the sun

But lately it feels too cold

I feel almost empty

So I turn the water up

And even higher still

Until I feel the steam and the sting

The water feels almost burning

Yet it doesn\'t feel like enough

I turn it all the way over

Then I sit on the floor and wait

While the water burns

My skin red

The steam clearing my nose

I sit there

Awaiting some sweet relief

Yet all I feel is the emptiness

I try to cry but nothing comes out

There\'s nothing I can do anymore

I miss the feeling of the cold

Wishing I could go back in time

Back when the cold was relaxing

When I was called the ice princess

When everyone would wonder how I did it

Barefoot in the snow

But I haven\'t been her in a long time

The hot water only hurts me more

I turn the handle

More and more to the opposite side

I feel the cold pierce my skin

It almost feels painful

Yet not as painful as my mind

I let the cold water flow

My body starts to feel numb

The handle turns more

Suddenly there is no more water

I stand there alone

Naked

Disappointed

My mind continues to wonder

Yet there\'s no time to ponder

I grab my towel and leave the room

My expression blank

My mind full

I used to like cold showers