My heart is now a fort hole
I\'ve filled with new reasons
Excuses with freedom
I regret all the pretty thoughtless decisions I\'ve made
In wine cellar darkness
I\'m looking for the light at the end of the tunnel
Mirroring yesterday in solitude
Praying for tomorrow
Like liquor like mania
I\'ve been doing somersaults
In the charnel house
Opened my mind, I let the thoughts out
Released them like king poison
A blood condiment
My white blood cells are doing overtime
Caught in a dream sequence
I miss the spray of his aftershave
The stubble on his chin
Went out in flames and a whim
I am an ocean of thoughts
Complaining like a bitch
I sizzle like a burnt chip
Seen some shit I wish I never did
Four days later I haven\'t moved
Been trying to erase 241 injuries
A state of emergency has been declared
Post surgery I awoke on X day
In tears, haunted by my fears
Counting off heartbeats
At the hotspot
Poles shift like hairs split
Crying is the last resort
Rain wets the parking lot
At midnight
I am intelligent with common sense
Walking the wet streets
I follow the glassy moonlight
Time is standing still
I see my mother in myself, at moments
I\'m alive with the morning sunshine
I\'m alive with the clouds in the sky
Wanting to do it
Making it through it
My body aches from pain
Turning rust into gold
In the starring role
Listening to Water Music by Händel
At 5 a.m.
I measured the wrist
Got an unhealthy relationship with myself
Constantly worried about my health
I fell like cherry petals
Picking up the pieces, bittersweet memories
This is not the way it\'s meant to be
Can\'t help but feel gutted
Snapped like willow branches
Peeling oranges.