Been consumed
biting down on experimentalism
and studying arts,
but not denying I\'m feeling like wasted poetry,
and also in the process of discovering my nocturnal philosophy
analysing internal truths
and erasing what I gather to be blatant falsehoods -
I am a primitive being
and deliberately conscious
of the science surrounding my psychology,
but very unpredictable and intentional
much like the weather
always reflecting on hope and fear
and the multitude of realism I dwell on
so often ~~
I am perplexed
by the constant dilemma of mundane living
& plagued with the never-ending nightmare
of death and the inevitable,
to the xtreme point
that the very thoughts have overwhelmed my soul
in a kind of religious way,
and I transcend everything else completely
but I believe in the concept of the future,
the prospect of change, and being willing
So much so that this belief has diffused like seasmoke
and it\'s beyond my control
like a red shark mouth in dark waters,
which has infected my domestic life
So we now live
symbiotically unhappy like an addict
and I\'ve to accept the silver linings like growing wisdom
even the hypothetical(s) and the endless variables,
and hope instead of succumbing to the fear I dread
I comprehend
and I\'ve made as much sense as I can of it
now.