my eyes are glazed over
when you look at me
and try to see me
my eyes are fixed on spires
that look edible
ed ible
i spell it out in my head
loudly
while you speak to me
about your dogs
or the things you did last week
i look down at an empty bowl
and suddenly i am taking up too much room
i feel my stomach pressing against my chest
the edibleness eager to get out
thats when i slip away
to cleanse myself
but it doesn’t work
and i fall down
a mess on the bathroom floor
smudged mascara and so much fear
but somehow i come to
i get back up
i resurrect this way all the time
and then my body is at the table
but i think my soul is lagging
and you look at me again
and see the glaze over my eyes
and you dont see anything at all
so we carry on just fine
in the same world where a part of me just died
and its so hard to keep myself together these days
when im so broken inside