He is the monster under my bed
Only my mattress is on the floor
So the monster resides in my head
Programmed into my memory
A face I will never forget
A touch I wish I never felt
A man I wasn’t strong enough to push away
I see his crystal blue eyes
A desire inside them that I did not understand
A desire inside them that I still do not understand
I could not speak
A moment frozen in time
Except it was only me that froze
An unwanted kiss with a tongue so sharp it cut-open my lips
GET OFF OF ME
But the words do not leave my mouth
His tongue is blocking their exit
A hand is not just a hand when it is placed where it does not belong
It has become a weapon for forced entry
Fingers that felt like knives inside of me
Shredding and tearing away at me
He said come with me
My voice wont work so I shake my head
I don’t want to go with him
I will not go with him
I throw all my weight backwards
It does not faze him
Hell hath no fury like a man who knows what he wants
Whether or not he is wanted back
I am saved but not by his grace
I am saved by his fear of what hes already done
By the blonde girl walking into the room
By the terrified look on her face as she stares at the two of us
He mumbles and retreats, taking part of my soul with him
He seems so small now
Not the ferocious beast he was
My body doesn’t feel like it is mine anymore
It is now damaged
He stole from me what I did not want to give
He stole from me what I cannot get back
I don’t feel whole
I will never feel, whole