I’m broken now,
into pieces you could never count, you could never contemplate what I’ve seen and gone through and that a fraction of any Hope in this world to me is absolutely paramount
Nothing has got better since you died, a year ago now, it was months ago I made myself a vow
I’ve tried to stay strong and live my life but somedays all I can do is question why and abundantly cry
Not just for you but for me too
as your death changed me then the past caught up with me suddenly I’m stuck
There’s a lot of anger in me now and in comparison to who I was I now don’t give a fuck
But I miss who I was, the strong focused positive woman with the happy little girl inside
Now I lay in the shadows, now I hide
Sometimes I want to end me
Sometimes I want to live
I’m torn between being in spirit with you
and staying here like I’m supposed to do
People judge and talk their ignorant views
It wouldn\'t occur to them to ask me my perspective on anything I’ve been through
They don’t know me, they didn’t know us,
Lies and vile behaviour
They only speak bullshit when they cuss
It used to really hurt me, but then I remembered what you always said,
“Fuck em michaela” so I erase them all from my overloaded head
I know what I need to do now
To be honest I’ve been so broken I haven’t really tried
But remembering the core of you and my true self
I will carry on with pride
I’m bringing me back but it will take some time
But I will always be yours and you will always be mine.