As temperatures drop for the year,
As decorations are brought out once more,
As radio stations play holly, jolly tunes,
A heavy weight is placed once more on me,
A question
Or few
Maybe more
Sending me to search for the answers
With a scavenger map given to me soon after birth
If there is a God
I’d like to ask him this, face-to-face
Why must I question my faith in
What kind of afterlife I can believe in?
When I was younger,
He was a star, and he could see and hear everything
I grew a bit older,
He was still a star and a ghost that could occupy a room
I grew just a bit more
And now I don’t know
What he is
Where he is
Could I believe that if there is no business left on Earth after death it’s right to heaven or reincarnation,
Could I believe that he stayed behind regardless?
Could I believe he’s a star, the brightest in the sky?
Then doesn’t he go to the other side of the planet when we rotate?
So how many times have I spilled my ails to a satellite in the night sky,
Believing it was my father?
Could I believe in reincarnation but sentence him to stay on Earth after death?
If I’ve changed my mind, there is no reason or purpose left for him
Meaning he can not watch over me,
Then how can I keep him tied to me?
Or is it too late to ask that when it’s been 16 years
Since he’s been tied to a life-filled body?
If my beliefs conflict with what I’ve always pictured his afterlife to be
Then what am I to believe?
Is it easier to just believe nothing at all?
.t.b.