MelissaJA

So I stayed silent (trigger warning: mentions of rape)

So I Stayed Silent.

I was 43 years old

I swiped right, but something was obviously wrong

A few sips of my drink and your smile got fuzzy.

I felt dizzy, falling into your open arms

Waking half-naked in the back of my car.

My pictures on the app were suggestive

My shirt low cut.

I must have been asking for it.

 

I was 22 years old

We were just friends, and the condom slipped or

Did you purposely peel it off and slip back in me?

No matter how much I begged, you wouldn’t stop

No matter how much I scrubbed,

I could not rid myself of your stench.

I aborted that child, and the memory forever Haunts me.

I probably asked for this.

 

I was 17 years old.

You were my boyfriends’ best friend, my friend too.

I woke up in the middle of a deep sleep

With you inside me.

The shame made me hide it for so long,

When the truth came out, my boyfriend left me.

It was obviously my fault; you were a good guy.

I was asking for it.

 

 I was 15 years old.

He was 30, and very charming.

He said I was mature for my age, made me believe it.

Told me I was ready, even when I knew I wasn’t.

Told me I would get in trouble if I did not keep it quiet,

Then moved on to all of my friends.

You were teaching us how to be adults.

We asked for it.

 

I was 8 years old.

We were in the middle of school,

you took me to use the bathroom.

I did not know what was going on,

nor what to say about it

So I stayed silent, for years.

There is no way in hell I was asking for it.

I won’t stay silent anymore.