I look in myself at the worst times and add a factor of ten for all the hurt I never felt or understood when equating good from bad.
It\'s a sad fact or a knack with axioms and probabilities. Like seeing somebody\'s a wrong \'un, if not now the later on when things start going wrong and they run.
All ties undone, a future unknown and history broken, left to ruin or updated. Repopulate by other figures, untrusted spectres passing like silent shadows stealing moments from my losing streak of self-worth.
Betting respect on a high stake bluff.
The future is a feeling that you haven\'t had enough. Somewhere we\'ve never been and will never find again. The growing differences a rush! New and mysterious. Drawing us in to dust becoming, dust arriving, dust blown traveller\'s trailing the sun. Bone bleached before life tasted sweet, toiling to make ends meet and keep from falling off one edge or another.
Cast under sometimes sounds secure with echoes of rest and composure.
It can seem the best thing in an instant but in the same sense nothing better can ever happen again.
Random encounters are excluded from such a determined course. Fractal thoughts that order chaos. Both captivating and terrifying.
People wonder about the cause, the source of torment for someone unnormal, not playing by the same rules, living in the average world. It\'s understood that they are disturbed, an imbalance, deficient abnormality or some ready hypothesis of early years trauma. Curable with pills and chemical prescriptions for a dose of existence.
We imagine there\'s no harm going along or becoming a supporter and arresting any further thought on matters.
Because it\'s better than what you had before. A better way to be led astray than being in denial. There\'s no crime in fanciful ideas but what if it\'s time to be determined and not filled with hope?
What if we should express these feelings not choke them down. Conflicted with emotions about disturbances in the workplace but just who said this job brought play to an end?
Who made society a poor friend and, unprepared, a great weight to be saddled upon the backs of those who least expected to carry the day. Made unready by the steady erosion of care and compassion, attitude and vision to see beyond problems. A future made uniform and predictable so much easier to control and and enough rope for any fools who rock boats.