I used to write about pain, suffering, and intrusive thoughts that kept me up at night and consumed my electric soul.
I used to believe avoiding controversy was the first step to living the happiest life imaginable.
I used to believe that change was only accepted as long as it made everyone happy, not just myself.
I used to believe friendship was about giving and not expecting anything in return.
I used to be walked over, disrespected, and belittled.
but it was okay because I believed I deserved it as long as I got to keep someone in my life from leaving me- even if they brought me to the bottom with them.
I hung on to hopelessness,
I beat myself up over toxic criticism that was heavily camouflaged with caring,
and I used to forget that by letting this kind of shit in my life, I am setting myself up for a life of pleasing people that want to bring me down.
I have stayed up one too many nights worried about the most vocally confident moments I have had, wondering if those moments were too harsh for someone\'s ears.
I worry too much about the confrontation that is needed to be given to people that need to hear it, worried that this might scare these people away.
I grew comfortable in knowing these people in my life, regardless of how much they belittled me, knew the real me and would grow out of their hateful ways.
I hung on to things that I believed I deserved, people that treated me poorly got away with it because I let them re-enter my life just to tear it apart again.
Today I write this to remind you, my future self, the ones who have a heart wrapped in paper afraid it could rip at any moment-
Under that paper is a heart that was made to be broken.
Accept the pain, and walk away with the certainty that you are the one held responsible for how your life turns out.
Tolerating any person that continuously brings you to your breaking point or even your depressive side is also known as letting a life of possibilities and joy out the window.
It\'s never to late to clean your mind,
and to never let anyone trash it ever again.