In my fortress I watch the candle flicker. Butterflies gather on the buddleia, dark circles under the eyes. I have made way into this hollow forgiveness, the bells ringing out. This is the worst pain I have felt in my life, burning away, making me crazy. Sometimes I get the urge to cut out my organs, in hopes I can remove the pain buried deep inside of me, but I can never find a way of doing it appropriately, bloodlessly, painlessly. Unable to sleep I look out the window into the unlimited void, waiting for the loveless morning to appear. Each breath hurts, as I get impatient, in silence and darkness. The night is an old friend.