...Or \'humor,\' if you prefer
But not to be side-tracked by extra \'u\'s!
Woof! Mark it 18+ says Fido
Or he\'ll bite me
He\'s not beyond biting his master.
Oohh, I dunno - suicide?
It\'s very bad for your health, you know
I tried it - but me knife was blunt
Oohh, and it\' ll hurt too much. Doh!
I lay on a railway track
Waiting for a train to run over me
But there were leaves on the line
The train ran on another track. Doh!
I tried getting run over by a No.7 bus
I stood there for hours
But they had changed the route. Doh!
I tried an overdose
Some pills looked like Smarties
I took the whole lot
But - they were Smarties. Doh!
I jumped over a cliff once
But it was the town\'s annual Fair
They had put out a bouncy castle
I landed safe on top of it. Doh!
I tried holding my breath for 24 hours
To rid myself of me
Cos I thought - the planet needs to save air
I survived (eh? - well, I\'m half human, half guinea pig)
But didn\'t feel very well afterwards. Doh!
I was gonna electrocute myself
But whatta ya know?
There was a power cut. Doh!
I played Russian Roulette
It finished off a mate of mine
But I got a blank chamber of course. Doh!
Oh well, I\'ll have to live and survive
Live to sing another day
In this padded cell
So no one will hear me
That\'ll torture ya
Like a living death! heehee
OK - I\'ll stay
I knows ya wants me to! lol.