as my life slowly passes on and the people i surround myself with fewer and fewer i find myself slipping back into the rut i was once in only this time i find myself better at masking both the physical and emotional pain no longer letting the glimmer of hope illuminate my once bright eyes but also never letter any close enough to see that that light had faded and died with every push i slip further back into the hole i once fought so hardly to climb out of only to slip back into despair with every touch of his hands even though never violent forced me into submission slowly pulling at the fire in my soul sucking me into a relationship of sexual conquest and no emotional validation the only thing my shattered soul had every desired the only real thing i know is the love for him that keeps me from plunging over the very edge of what is my sanity