down the rabbithole

Do you know how I know I love you?

Do you know how I know I love you?

I know I love you, because since you left me I can not speak your name even to myself.
I can not look at your photos or even trace the shape of your face that still lingers in my mind.

I can not let myself remember, if I start to think of my face in your neck and the smell of your hair I will cry and I will not stop.

I can not remember you in my mind, it is too dangerous.

In my heart you are not forgotten, that would be an impossibility.

The love I feel is etched like a weeping wound in there.

But my mind...

In my mind you are dead to me...

it is the only way I can stay alive