I want to be able to lie here
So I’m not consumed by my fear
But I’m still shaking in my bed and fighting against the next first tear
The truth I’m trying to force on myself is insincere
It doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter, I did nothing wrong
Nothing’s different from the way it’s been all along
Don’t fall into self destruction like I did last time, be strong
Forget bottles exist and don’t reach for the bong
But this wasn’t what I planned on and I am afraid
Would it be different if I hadn’t tried and where I was, stayed?
Are you as different as I think or am I being played?
I suppose it doesn’t matter because I care too much, this time I am not going to fade
Into my insecurities, anger, anxiety and doubt
This time, I am staying in the cage, I’m not lashing out
It’s like I have someone who finally made me understand what love is about
I’ll be happier to feel pain with you than I would be to be without