I live inside my own head most days
trying to escape, tried so many different ways
yet still, minute by minute, day by day
stuck in my anxieties
have thoughts yet nothing to say
always worried not to upset or say something wrong
always uncomfortable, not one tamed thought
the edge is always near, always on guard
knowing normality is too far
watching the laughter and fun but never truly involved
as soon as I start its like my mind hits a wall
all negatives come flooding through taking my air flow
in and out my anxieties grow
what are they thinking? what do they know?
Am i fitting in? trying to be me, does anyone know?
some days I think I am changing, getting better
being louder, more thoughts being said
Just one person, one thing, can bring me right back
its like I was seeing then lost the track
like I was running, now I am just in place
I was winning, then slowed down
lost the race
the light at the end of the tunnel was so bright
everything was feeling good, I was feeling right
then the clouds cover me, swallow me inside
that rain you feel, tears to all my cries
crying out for someone, something to save me from all these edges
loud in my head yet quiet to the ears of all present
done with all the inner tension
to share my mind would be a curse
where I see, dangers lurk
even in the brightest light I look for the darkest part
waiting for the demons to spark
like a fire that can never be undone
how can you control something if you\'ve never seen the sun
the whispers in my ear, \"its all to stay safe\"
please tell me this is not my ultimate fate