There’s an addict inside of me and she wants to come out and play
But I’ve made a choice and in my head is where she’ll stay
Even though the addict inside of me has something to say
I don’t let her speak, instead, I close my eyes and count until the urges go away
The better version of me is who I\'m supposed to be
The better version of me is who I want people to see
But the addict inside of me tries with all her might
Refusing to accept defeat, she clings on to old memories and tries to fight
But the better version of me tears down the walls
My conscience has a way with words getting me to hear its calls
I clench my hands together, and squeeze my eyes shut tighter
Because I know the better version of me is a true survivor, a true fighter
The urges come and go and sometimes they last for a long while
And the addict inside of me tries to pull my strings but I fight back with a determined smile
I used to be a girl who depended on getting high
Until I realized one day, I could wake up as a spirit in the sky
So the addict inside of me has finally been put to rest
And although the urges come and sometimes kick me in my chest
I wake up every day knowing I’ve gotten a second chance
No more waking up to prepare myself for another devils dance
I fought to be who I am today,
and the addict inside of me no longer has anything more to say
Stephanie Davis
June 2021