Laughing without smiling
The march of cursed souls intoxicated with dreams and vomiting hope
Loud and desprete howls of crying angels sniffing fears and shooting up dope
Completly ignored left to slowly die in pain by the side of the road
Downright tragic fate of the faild servents of love and it\'s steep sloap
Dark empty hotel rooms filed with loneliness of unimaginable scope
Waiting for the defeated spirits of bastards with a ties out of rope
Who have been banished out of society for their attitude or inability to cope
Who become burned out husks mere shadows of their former selves while signing the suicide note
Witch was written in their toxic blood and afterwards sealed in an envelope
And send without address into oblivion for eternity to grope
Sudden silence
Then
The metal aftertaste of vicious violence
Omnipresent and progressive dacadence
Of the world where pain asserts dominence
Over any kind of pleasent or enjoyable experiance
Rendering life\'s meaning to the accumulation of opulence
Useing mindless shows for even more mindless audience
Creating unescapeble feeling of frustration and internal absence
Turning poets into nihilists who laugh without smiling at the god\'s so-called omnipotence
Such a dreadful weird and twisted way of existence
In which we all play the unfair game of life
And we are willing to break all the rules
Because we know we could lose
So so much
Scars on our body
Tell the same old story
About life being too short
To hold a grudge
To me
Life always seemed
Way too long
For that
With time you\'ll see that
Anyone can be redeemed
If the will is strong
And you know where to look at
And asking the right questions
Is more importatnt
Than having the answers
To them
What i mistook for love
Was just an obsession
That\'s partly because i don\'t know
Who i am
But i see now
That i have always
Constructed my personality
Around my so-called love for someone
I don\'t know how
Or why do i build this maze
Of emotional brutality
Only for it to be undone
And then rebuild once again
Out of the desperation
That comes from the lack
Of desire
Like a phoenix locked
Into an endless cycle of creation
After burning down
Like a fire
I was brought happines on a golden plate
It was staring in my face
Yet i said
NO
I could not walk trough that gate
Despite it\'s obvious grace
Because i knew where it led
You know
It seems that more than
A clean path
And utopic
Happily ever after
I long for longing it self
That\'s the source
Of all my kicks
And my smileless laughter
I laugh at myslef
Because there is nothing
More pathetic
Than the need for needing
But at the same time
It makes my writing
More poetic
It breeds the quality of my bleeding
Even now as i write
And search for the end
Of this poem
So far unending
Here take it
It is written with the intend
To be a token
Of my suffering