PC Porpoodle out on the beat
Everyone hears his size 10 feet
Everyone knows when he walks about town
PC Porpoodle the constable man
When he goes looking, trouble he will find
He\'s not very clever and not very kind
All the children hate him and the parents too
PC Porpoodle no one likes you
With eyes like a shark and teeth to match
If he\'s out hunting it\'s you he will catch
Doesn\'t care if you\'re guilty
Or innocent too
PC Porpoodle will always get you
One cold day when out on patrol
PC Porpoodle was eaten by a troll
The towns folk cried though some thought it funny
But then they all heard coming from its tummy
\'I\'m arresting you in the name of the law!\'
Said the voice from the troll who dropped open its jaw
And then out from its mouth a long arm came
And everyone screamed and quickly ran away
No one knew what happened to the troll
Only PC Porpoodle who carried on his stroll
So that\'s why the folk of Boffington Town
Never live in fear when the constable\'s around
No one really minds him, not any more
But please PC Porpoodle don\'t come knocking at my door