Mimie

Toxic Lover

The touch of his hand on my skin brought more remorse than joy as he removed another layer of my clothing

At that point, I felt nothing but a loud vacuum of emptiness in me

With the first stroke, a tear tumbled down my cheek, with a warmth that I wish I felt inside of me

This isn\'t the type of love I want

Am breaking

I keep quiet with yet another stroke and as he laid before me, my emotions take control and release a flood of silent cries

As an attempt to leave, I start putting on my clothes slowly, sniffing back the tears 

He can\'t see me like this 

Only then does he pull me in for a snuggle, but my face cheek is already damp with tears

I just want to leave 

I feel his heartbeat, if only it beats for me 

But no, I am just a thought that passes by when in need 

With the anticipation of the love I yearn so much from him

I jump at his every sentence 

Quiet for days without a single hello

I mourn my heart as it breaks 

The thoughts of letting go echo in my head

\"This is not part of the deal,\" he says 

Which deal I wonder 

Because I don\'t remember signing a contract 

Surely a gentleman\'s agreement can be broken 

To the moon and back with stars and rims of the sun 

That is how I have I have sacrificed a piece of me for you

Bring it back 

This is also not part of what I signed up for 

When we met you spoke of so much that you had to offer

A heart that spoke to mine because of its pain 

The same pain am inflicting on myself when I discover I am nothing other than just a one text away booty call

\"What has become of you\" the inner child in me screams 

Don\'t show me your warmth after you get what you want

Don\'t get my hopes up saying things you know I crave to hear

When you won\'t even attempt to do them

I wear my heart on my sleeve 

Maybe that\'s why you have managed to strip me bare 

Knowing all my cards, to take advantage of my insecurities 

Fucking cheat 

Those are certainly not the rules of the game 

Lord, give me the strength to leave 

This is not the way to love