The touch of his hand on my skin brought more remorse than joy as he removed another layer of my clothing
At that point, I felt nothing but a loud vacuum of emptiness in me
With the first stroke, a tear tumbled down my cheek, with a warmth that I wish I felt inside of me
This isn\'t the type of love I want
Am breaking
I keep quiet with yet another stroke and as he laid before me, my emotions take control and release a flood of silent cries
As an attempt to leave, I start putting on my clothes slowly, sniffing back the tears
He can\'t see me like this
Only then does he pull me in for a snuggle, but my face cheek is already damp with tears
I just want to leave
I feel his heartbeat, if only it beats for me
But no, I am just a thought that passes by when in need
With the anticipation of the love I yearn so much from him
I jump at his every sentence
Quiet for days without a single hello
I mourn my heart as it breaks
The thoughts of letting go echo in my head
\"This is not part of the deal,\" he says
Which deal I wonder
Because I don\'t remember signing a contract
Surely a gentleman\'s agreement can be broken
To the moon and back with stars and rims of the sun
That is how I have I have sacrificed a piece of me for you
Bring it back
This is also not part of what I signed up for
When we met you spoke of so much that you had to offer
A heart that spoke to mine because of its pain
The same pain am inflicting on myself when I discover I am nothing other than just a one text away booty call
\"What has become of you\" the inner child in me screams
Don\'t show me your warmth after you get what you want
Don\'t get my hopes up saying things you know I crave to hear
When you won\'t even attempt to do them
I wear my heart on my sleeve
Maybe that\'s why you have managed to strip me bare
Knowing all my cards, to take advantage of my insecurities
Fucking cheat
Those are certainly not the rules of the game
Lord, give me the strength to leave
This is not the way to love