When we bought our Granddad a computer.
We thought that it would occupy his mind.
He soon began to travel into cyberspace.
And report back on the things that he would find.
\"I’ve tracked down many of my school friends.
I’ve really got the hang of this.” He said.
\" I’ve sent them all a greeting in a Gmail.”
But they’ve not replied coz all of ‘em are dead!”
He then began to tell us about shopping.
“ You order from the comfort of your seat.
But if you push your money in the USB slot,
It tends to make your laptop overheat”
“I got an email from a fella in the rainforest”
“He said that paying cash was very hard.”
“So I just click my mouse from anywhere in the house”
And I get it all from Amazon on mi card!”
“ My laptop has become my best companion.”
“You order and you get it overnight”
I’ve got a bouncy castle in the kitchen.”
And a punchbag to teach me how to fight.
Then Grandad went and bought himself a diving suit
To help him to explore beneath the sea.
And a DVD to help him to unwind
Telling all about the mysteries of Tai Chi.
On Tuesday afternoon he got excited.
Whilst waiting for his parcel to arrive
He said that he’d been waiting for the postman.,
To deliver him a shiny Siamese bride.
He was afraid he might have missed the first delivery.
Because he’d just popped out to water all his vedge
But he’d left a note for the postie fella.
To leave her in the garden under t’hedge.
He could n’t wait to receive his online purchase.
His lady friend all packaged in a crate.
He\'d get her doing jobs around the house
Provided that she did n’t arrive too late.
He’d splashed out on some presents to impress her.
Some jewellery and a shiny mobile phone
A drill and a black and decker workbench.
So she could do some jobs around the home.
Now our Granddad loves to surf the interweb.
And the convenience of shopping with a mouse
And he’s glad that his Siamese bride failed to arrive.
Because our Granny would n’t have her in the house.