Death is inevitable, yet so unexpected
It grips you by the heart, swallowing you into a vacuum of numbness
The fact that you didn\'t see it coming leaves you in a state of confusion
Disbelief at first because I just spoke to you a few hours and you were at your happiest
Is that what they mean when they say \" I want to die happy\"
This phrase I believe is a metaphor of what the deceased actually mean
They want you to remain with the memory of them smiling back at you
Taking their final breath knowing that at least they showed their loved ones just one more time, how they felt
But that memory fades quickly, the minute they hear, you are no more
We begin to question everything, like why now
Especially if the deceased was my lover who I had planned my whole life with
A future that laid ahead of us never to be fulfilled
As I stare at your body, without any movement, I feel my life also pause
How is it possible that someone who was so full of life a day ago is gone
I slowly remove the cloth that is covering your body and all I yearn for is your eyes to smile at me
But they are closed shut
Your skin is so pale like a few weeks ago when you managed to convince me to take a walk in the winter cold night
If only I had known then I wouldn\'t have started the fight, if only I had known then
I would have held your hand tighter, hugged just for a few minutes longer
If only I had known then I would have stopped the hands of time just to spend another day with you
Now I have to prepare for your farewell which seems so surreal
I stare at our pictures and I smile
We made each happy
And as I say my last goodbyes I hope that you will rest easy my love