queer-with-a-pen

hey there, captain

the pecans i buy

are not for me,

can’t justify a price tag

like that on myself

 

but when i see them

on the grocery store shelves

where the star bucks baristas

know me by name

all i think about is you

 

pecan sandies, mostly

but it goes good with pumpkin, too

and i know you’d agree

 

and i think about all these

things i have baked for you,

like trying to fill that hollow place

in both of us with sustenance

will make that darkness

a little less oppressive

 

who’s to say it won’t?

 

and there must be something holy

in the flour dusted on my black shirt,

hot oven in an even hotter kitchen

when you asked me so sweetly

for something i had never made before

and how am i supposed to say no

 

how could i?

 

and you weren’t mine to love,

much less fall in love with

 

but, just the same,

that’s not something i can bring

myself to regret