the pecans i buy
are not for me,
can’t justify a price tag
like that on myself
but when i see them
on the grocery store shelves
where the star bucks baristas
know me by name
all i think about is you
pecan sandies, mostly
but it goes good with pumpkin, too
and i know you’d agree
and i think about all these
things i have baked for you,
like trying to fill that hollow place
in both of us with sustenance
will make that darkness
a little less oppressive
who’s to say it won’t?
and there must be something holy
in the flour dusted on my black shirt,
hot oven in an even hotter kitchen
when you asked me so sweetly
for something i had never made before
and how am i supposed to say no
how could i?
and you weren’t mine to love,
much less fall in love with
but, just the same,
that’s not something i can bring
myself to regret