Scared of the distance
Both space
And time
And the walls you build
Around your mind
How my words don’t come out right
I can feel it slipping
How you intoxicate me
Feel the disconnection
Electricity
Slowly fading
Terrified of words
Left unsaid, unmade bed
More so timid than gentle
Painfully conscious
Of the imminent fragility
Never did have the luxury of stability
So used to playing with fire
Now numb to the burns
Knew what we were doing
Knew what we risked losing
But I can’t lose you
I love you
Means so many things
Like you should wear your seatbelt
Get some rest
And did you eat
And the crushing weight of watching
The fading luminosity in your eyes
I want to see you happy
Be there no matter what
See that shimmer in your eyes again
Whether I’m the reason for it
Or not
In over our heads
Don’t know how to fix this
Barely treading water
Didn’t mean to risk us
Not even sure
What us means anymore
Learned to pull away first
One foot out the door
Build walls around our hearts
Always on high alert
Stability was a luxury
We could never afford
And “love made like ink spilled”
Is just a fading memory
And loving means losing
Any semblance of control
We never knew safety
In being vulnerable