With words as ancient as the stone I stand upon
I raise a mountain from the sea
With a voice of thunder that calms the wind
I whisper of forgotten mysteries
Chocolate!
I mustn\'t forget chocolate
Or biscuits and cheese
And let\'s face it where would this world be without a cup of tea
So yes where was I
Oh yes ancient words
mountains from the sea
Voice of thunder
Forgotten mysteries
Ahem....
This land is my land and I am the heart of it
Beating in furious tectonic rhythm
Do not defy the will of me
For my depths of strength are deeper than the tempestuous sea
Oh bugger, I also need rhubarb
Nothing like a rhubarb crumble
To ease that little belly rumble
And while I think about my food
I also love steak and kidney pud
Right, anyway, as I was saying
You dare to challenge me in your childlike ways?
You are but a grain of sand
Easily trapped within the palm of my hand
You are nothing say I
And I am marmite!
I almost forgot marmite
I can\'t be leaving out the best bit
Even though some people don\'t like it
You know what?
I think this is the end
So now for something completely different.....
Stop that now..........Silly person................ Shh.........