And suddenly
All of my music wasn’t sad enough
All of my playlists lacked emotion
All of the quotes weren’t deep enough
The motivational words weren’t motivating me
The alcohol didn’t numb my thoughts
The smoke didn’t cloud your image that is forever burned into every crease of my brain
The cuts weren’t down enough to make me fade in and out like you did to my life
Writing my thoughts down became a hassle
A constant battle of
Should I send
Or
Should I delete
My heart fell so far down
Into the depths of my chest
Where no human could reach
I could still feel it beating yet
I questioned if I was still there
A numb and empty shell
Surrounded by a broken wall causing
Dirty thoughts and plans to prevent me
From picking up those pieces and living
Within seconds of you walking out
It shattered into a million pieces
Yet my heart didn’t hit the floor
It was stuck inside
Stuck jabbing the other parts of my body
Until they were broken and numb as well
And all of a sudden
All this time that I spent in fear of hurting you
In return I hurt myself
And that was enough