The hedgehogs curled up by your shed
are scared. In fact, they live in dread
of dogs and drains and deep, dank ditches,
which plague these sorry sons of bitches!
Their days on earth are numbered too,
if climate change and all that’s true.
It could decline their population
and wipe these creatures from our nation.
These black-eyed fellows’ fiercest foe?
The farmer! And it’s touch and go
if they’ll survive his fascist farming.
Their habitat he’s always harming.
The badger preys on hedgehogs too
and chemicals - that toxic brew.
Cruel cars, (cold Cadillacs for killing)
the hedgehogs’ blood they’re always spilling.
The hedgehogs, curled up in a ball,
are spiky, sweet, and very small.
They need our help; don’t say I\'m raving,
like sinful souls, they’re well worth saving!