I wait for you to understand me
I leave you alone because today was amazing for me
I asked you a favor I thought I did so well at communicating today
I felt so proud of myself
Even though I hadn’t eaten all day
The feeling in my stomach hadn’t gone away so I try to ignore it
I distract myself with errands
I buy supplements for myself so I can be stronger and healthy
I get home I call you and no reply
Its okay I understand you are busy I know this
I reassure myself that everything is fine
You tell me to communicate clearly
I’m confused
Did my call not just get declined
By you?
I brush it off
I expect you to let me know when you are going to leave
My mind rambles I eat finally after finally feeling a bit comfortable with myself
I stop I call you
You say you are leaving that I can’t come
I’m once again
Confused
I am frustrated
I tell you why
It’s my fault for feeling this way apparently
No real reply
No explanation
Nothing
I’m left hanging once again
Hours go by I finally call before midnight
My call gets declined with an automated message
I laugh
I get mad and I start my defense here
I act like I don’t need you
You ask me what is my PROBLEM
You don’t really care
If you did you would step away from the table and call me
To make sure I am alright
But I guess
I am not more important
I know I am not
And later when we talk if we even do speak of this
It will be made into
“Why do you do this”
Why do you
Why you
You