Mariel Ilagan

ADHD

The bees in my head
And existential dread
Why can\'t I get up
I\'m glued in my bed
I got brain malfunction
Fucking executive dysfunction 
If I\'m not transfixed
I lose myself
To overstimulation 
What did you just say?
I can\'t hear you over 
This constant ringing
Sensory overload
I now suddenly find myself
Randomly singing
Just focus and make a list
They make it sound so easy
Restless and can\'t stand still
I\'m struggling over here
No I just can\'t fucking focus
I\'m trying my best
My body is in the east
But my mind\'s lost in the west
Need my supply of dopamine
For sustained euphoria
To conceal the pain from my
Rejection sensitive dysphoria
Have I ever even been in love
And was it true devotion
Or all along has it just been
Sheer obsession
My eyes dilate
When I hyperfixate
And I amaze everyone
With some things I can do
But y\'all have no idea
What I would give
Just to be normal
And have it easier like you