Mari[anne]

Anxiety

I scream and I scream but I can’t because my mind refused.

No one will care, no one will love you and your broken parts if you do this.

I can’t speak because my voice will betray me.

 

Stop trying, what are you even living for?

 

I run and run till my lungs give out.

But it gets harder and harder to escape from these thoughts.

These thoughts that invade and destroy have nearly crushed my better judgment.

 

I can talk and talk but that won’t make it go away.

It won’t take back those lonely nights spent crying alone.

Those nights spent looking at the phone trying to chase away the darkness with bottled-up laughter.

 

I wish I could get back all those years that I lost.

Spent hiding away from this fear that controlled me.

But how can I hide from something that lives with me?