Lester W

All I Do Is Stare

The bell struck only once that day
But it was enough 

It’s an awful, horrific, sickening relief 
But a relief nonetheless

Hope fuels my belief
But it also drags me down

So many people who did nothing wrong 
So many people gone without a sound
While I do nothing but sit and listen to the song

Of TVs, radios, and podcasts
Confirming the worst
Performing until it hurts
How long will it last?

I’m safe when I hide under the covers
I’m safe from what’s out there
I’m safe and it’s not fair
I’m safe when so many mothers and fathers grieve
I’m safe and I hate that I feel relieved

I curse the system
But do nothing about it
A haunting rhythm
When will I snap out of it?

Because I know when the sirens come
They’re not for me
I wish that wasn’t a release 
A fresh breath of air
But it is

And all I do is stare