One last night together
Is all I ask
To be loved and held again
In the way I used to be
I know you feel guilty
But it feels right to me
It felt like a first date
A first sleepover
Except this time
We knew how
To hold one another
Stolen kisses
Lots of hugs
Your phone vibrates
“Do you want to see who it is?”
You sigh
“Not really”
Disentangle yourself from me
And respond to your text messages
Begrudgingly
It’s about homework
Then you slide back into bed
Wrap me up in your embrace
A tangled mess of limbs once again
Wow
Maybe it’s just me but
It still feels like we’re in love
Perhaps its just that affection’s something
We’ve been deprived of
I hadn’t planned to stay over
But we just lost track of time
In the hours we talked
It’s not such a crime
I slip into your t shirt
And we brush our teeth
We crawl into bed
You hold me like you used to
I feel safe and secure
You kiss my cheek
I ask “are you comfy”
You say “no”
“Why not?”
“You’re turned away from me”
I flip over
Bury my face in your chest
You hold me close
One hand in my hair
The other resting on my lower back
We shift around often
Finding the best position
To snuggle in
You move me around so easy
I’m malleable in your hands
Our faces mere centimeters apart
You whisper to me
“This can’t happen again”
But Im not upset that it did
I made my own conscientious decision
I knew the consequences of my actions
You are not the bad guy
You are human like the rest
You have emotions, feelings, desires
And can act on them
Just like I do
Instead of feeling regret
In the morning we wake up
I check my phone
It’s 6am
“Do you want me to head home?”
You shake your head no
“We still have some more time together”
You pull me back into bed
Placing your lips
Against my forehead
We fall back asleep
Three hours pass
We check the time
“It’s 9am”
“Just five more minutes” you say
Its like you almost don’t want me to go
You scrunch up against me close
Hold my face in your palm
I wonder where it all went wrong
I can see the guilt in your eyes
You tell me you’re so sorry
You never meant for me to hurt this bad
But I don’t want your pity
Don’t look at me like I’m fragile
You threw me to the side
But I’m still here, not broken, but alive
We say our goodbyes
You give me one final kiss
To seal the deal
Of our ended relationship