sometimes i’m there again
and all i can hear is boots stomping up the stairwell and radio chatter
and my heart quickly begins to race with adrenaline
and my eyes begin to leak
sometimes it’s something stupid
the theme music to a childhood movie i played religiously
the blinding white lighting of a purgatory waiting room
the smell of dirty january sleet
sometimes i’m right back
and i can hear my own voice shaking and shouting in my head
and there’s an echo of police and ambulance sirens
and i’m hugging papa
and everything stops around me
it’s just me
and the long gap between me and her
it all feels infinite
sometimes, i am so burdened by this