Daiya vegan non dairy cheesecake - oh yum!

Hard knocks Methacton school alum

ofttimes finds ruing his fate

while squarely planted on me bum

disheveled and unshaven,

whereby gray stubble encrusted

with wayward synonymous days old crumb -


after wolfing delectable entitled treat

buttered fingers drubbing upon tabletop
analogous to playing a drum
oy vey, yours truly cannot believe
he ate the whole thing -
argh... my poor tum.


ALDI GIANT supermarkets
(within small radius of miles

from me Schwenksville, Penna abode)

sell delicious delectable treat
goading, inspiring, and spurring me

to craft poem essentially

patronizing manufacturer,

whose skilled food technicians

engineered absolute winning dessert


courtesy their natural born talent

schooled (most likely at culinary institute)
possibly supplemented insync
with advanced degrees
at other institutions of higher learning

after various and sundry
trials and error

concocting mouthwatering secret recipe.


Lemme use hypothetical situation

to accent chew ate,
how alluded dessert tastes great,

especially when rumble in tumbly

clamors for glorious goody
regarding appetite to satiate

unfortunately circumstances
force your truly to wait.


If (the following

constitutes far fetched scenario)

stranded on a desert island,

I after falling to Earth

when parachute fails to open,
weighed down by an excess of

Daiya vegan non dairy cheesecakes,

would finagle an empty pie tin

to signal an SOS.


If left to my own devices,
(where you dear reader
would discover one humbug),
I would be forced to scrounge around
rubbing two sticks together
to create warmth
plus distilling oils -

derived from edible herbaceous plants,

whence I would ejaculate
(not prematurely) - olé

to sauté said greens with wild mushrooms.