Paul Bell

Mr Mcintosh

Don’t you find Mr McIntosh a bit strange?

No, I find him very pleasant, but more than that, he pays his lodgings three months in advance, that makes him great in my book.

Does it never bother you when he disappears for weeks on end.

No.

Well, I\'ve been studying Mr McIntosh, a sort of Thesis you could say, it really is fascinating reading.

Is this part of your degree, will it get you an A, will it get you a job.

I think it will be different from the other students body of work.

So, enlighten me.

Well, do you notice that when Mr McIntosh arrives back from wherever he’s been, he’s relaxed, drinks, sort of winds down.

We all do that after work.

Ah, but then that changes after he gets a phone call, he then goes back into training. I’ve seen him running along the beech.

So he likes to keep fit, so what.

That’s not all he does down the beech.

Tell me he meets a woman.

No, he draws.

What do you mean he draws?

He sketches out assault plans, then I imagine he fulfils those plans.

My God, you sure have one vivid imagination.

Don’t you think it strange a man of his breeding would stay here?

I’ll have you know these so-called lodgings as you put it are better than some hotels.

I know that mum, but it all adds to the mystery don’t you think.

Well, short of following Mr McIntosh around, you just be careful he doesn’t sue you for an over developed imagination.

Oh, I’ve already followed Mr McIntosh, it turned out to be very successful.

What do you mean?

He caught me.

Well, that A has suddenly gone down to a D. Inspector Clouseau.

On the contrary, that tells me he’s alert to danger as one would be in his field.

You\'re sure you don’t have a crush on Mr McIntosh.

Well, he is taking me out to dinner tonight.

I knew it, you’d get an A in subterfuge, little madam.

Mummy, stop using big words.

Next day.

So, where did Mr McIntosh take you to dinner, some well-bred restaurant was it.

I suppose it was, in a way, it was on board a submarine.

Are you being serious?

Yes mum, now I need to tell you something official.

I knew it, when are the police due.

It’s nothing like that, though in saying that, a cleaning company will be coming shortly to clean Mr McIntosh’s room.

I think I’m capable of cleaning a room.

This is a different kind of cleaning, and you’ll have to sign the official secrets act when they leave.

Why can’t you just be a normal teenager, and where is Mr McIntosh.

I think I better explain what happened when Mr McIntosh caught me following him.

He blackmailed you, didn’t he.

No, he took me down to the beech and sketched a plan he was working on.

Is this plan dangerous.

The only thing I can tell you, there was a flaw in the plan.

And naturally you being a smart ass you pointed this out to him.

No, I think it was his way of saying goodbye.

So, what happens now.

Well, after the cleaners have finished, they’ll give me an envelope which I will deliver to somewhere in London, you’ll sign the official secrets act, get a thank you for being a patriot, and I’m told you’ll also be recompensed.(That’s a big cheque to you, mum.)

Notice you’re still bloody cheeky.

That’s why you love me mum

Where does this leave your Thesis, assuming you’ll be signing the official secret acts too

In the bin, mum, though in saying that, Mr McIntosh did tell me I would be trained to follow people without getting caught.