Anna Colette

After the Predators

Flashbacks keep continuing as most triggers still remain unknown

Some take a while to figure out

While during others the flashback dances through my head in an instant

I don\'t understand most of it, like why some triggers are triggers

As his image sometimes can\'t leave my head

And I am burdened once again with what the past held.

I feel like I still cannot truly comprehend what happened;

Mother was arrogant with her lies

Her husband was a predator dressed in sheep\'s clothing

He was a predator barely staying behind the psychopath line

I was a naive little girl, prey in their eyes

They slowly crept in.

Sometimes I still think it\'s my fault that everything happened,

Maybe if I hadn\'t been as naive

Maybe if I hadn\'t been so stupid

Maybe if I was smart enough

Maybe if...

I tear myself apart trying to explain what happened

When in reality, it\'s impossible to explain the motives of the predators

Were they bored?

Did they see my body as a new toy?

Was their life just not good enough that they had to take the past of mine?

I don\'t know if I\'ll ever understand, or forgive them

And trying to deal with this aftermath seems just as bad as if it were still happening.