I do not know if I am allowed to be angry anymore
Or if the statute of limitations is up and you are a free man
Now that I am done with being angry at myself for allowing it
Now that I am tired of being impatient with my healing
I am angry at you
I used to blame myself, because I had to of known what I was doing
When it was you that was supposed to know
Not to mess with thirteen year old girls when you’re a grown man
You knew I would have to grow up with what you have done to me weighing me down
Because I never knew, at thirteen, I would be eighteen still battling with the fact that
I had to endure so much more than I deserved, way too early
And it has tangled my mindset, a knot I will have to be undoing for years to come
Now I am closer to the age you were, than the age I was
This realization feels as though another reason to hate you
You do not deserve forgiveness
Or to go without consequences like I once believed those years ago
I can start over
But you never should be able to
It should permanently change your life, like you might have done to mine
These two words do not even begin to sum up how I feel, but I would still like to tell you them
Because I am entitled to this anger, this hatred I have inside
And in a naive hope my wound will close and I can heal properly,
Here they are
Fuck
You
t.b.