The knots of temptation snakes hotly around
my neck to grapple at the reins of my thoughts
Steering me into a fantasy where I long to be
at peace
A calm and serene fuzzy haze of a concocted
paradise
It’s a lone blue earth with a purple sky
There it’s always 5:59pm and one occupant
sits around a campfire
The ground is a field of white grain, slipping
and clinging to the crease between my toes
Seagulls are circling ahead and the vengeful
ocean is crashing its waves in an alarm
Begging to get my attention so I can examine
the wrecked Arc that drifted ashore
It’s fractured and hollowed out like my insides
So I don’t look
I hone in on the burning embers before me
I want to reach out and feel that flame lick the
palm of my hand and melt the ice away from
my veins so I can feel my heart beating again
I pull back and take a deep gasping breath
Here the air isn’t as suffocating and polluted
I can begin to feel my own existence as the
oxygen flows freely through my lungs
And suddenly — I don’t want to leave
Why should I?
I’m surrounded by my favorite color
I’m so warm and full of life, it’s like I’m in my
mother’s womb again
And I get to turn my back on the anxiety and
the depression that wants to remind me of all the things I have lost and have yet to lose
But the sea begins to whisper my name
No — it’s more of a hiss
Then eventually a scream
The purple fades to black then a startling
white
The heart monitor besides me is working
overtime
And the salt water that falls from above me
stings as I listen to the woman who gave birth
to me cry